Short story: I am pregnant. Due July 9, 2012, which means I am 12 weeks along. Since Trace finishes his residency June 30, he asked to be the resident who stays the month of July to help train the new residents. Keeping both an income and insurance for the month of July. So we will be having the baby here in Hawaii and staying at least until August. Where or if we go from there is still a mystery.
Long story: I have an irregular menstrual cycle. I've gone as long as a year without one. Yes to all women out there, be jealous. I absolutely love it. However, I have a family history of difficulty conceiving from not only not menstruating but also not ovulating. Good thing, no need for birth control :) No weight gain, no mood swings, no daily pills. While other members of my family took medication and successfully conceived, I was never planning that route. Let's be honest, the idea of pregnancy and mostly delivery is not a pretty story. I don't like the idea of something growing inside of you, compressing your organs leading to frequent urination, constipation, difficulty breathing, heart burn, lack of sleep, fatigue, change in senses, nausea, vomiting, the list goes on and on. The thought of something kicking and moving inside of you has never appealed to me. I think to the movie Aliens as it is feeding from you and rips open your abdomen. Then after a long period of growing and getting bigger, this little baby has to come out of you. I don't need to go into detail whether you go natural, pain meds, epidural or caesarean this isn't a breeze. Recovery is long and painful either way and your body is never the same unless you happen to be a Hollywood star with nannies and a personal trainer. No, I didn't ever really want to get pregnant and found my infertility very fortunate. I didn't have the sadness and grieving of not being able to conceive that many women experience. Trace has also been prepared for the idea of not physically having children long before we got married. We've been very happy with our independence, traveling, eating good food, staying up late and sleeping in. We were both happy with our situation and looking forward to adoption or foster parenting some time in the future.
But I was fooled. Apparently my body does occasionally ovulate.
About five weeks ago I started getting nauseous. Not all the time, no pattern at all. One day at work, I really had to force myself to eat my lunch during break chewing slowly and really focusing on swallowing. I pushed through Thanksgiving, eating everything on my plate and making no mention to the nausea or fatigue I was feeling. Then on 11/28, I was so nauseous at lunchtime I couldn't eat so I went to lie in bed and slept for 3 hours, very unlike me. I don't take the traditional Sunday afternoon nap. Trace says he's seen me nap maybe 3 times in the last 7 years. I made fajitas for dinner that night (a family favorite of ours). When I took a bite I was sickened by the flavor. I say to Trace, "I think I'm a hypochondriac, it's like I'm pregnant. I should just take a pregnancy test so I can stop making up all these symptoms." I stand up, search through the cabinet for a tester and take myself to the bathroom. I don't know what Trace was thinking but he didn't actually think I was serious when I stood up to leave or know I had a pregnancy tester in the house.
A few minutes later two solid lines appear and I call, "Hey Trace, come in here." He walks in thinking he's been called to kill a spider as I'm pointing to counter. "It's positive, I'm pregnant." Then it hits and I start to cry. Not cries of joy but of sadness from knowing I will experience all of the symptoms above. My tears didn't last long and I don't need lectures that this is a good thing, we truly are happy and will accept this baby with open arms. I'm just not thrilled about the way it will be entering our family. I bought another pregnancy tester that night to confirm and checked again the next morning to be sure.
Calculating my last menstrual period I could be 12 weeks pregnant, almost done with the first trimester. As I'm calling doctors offices the next morning trying to get an appointment with an obstetrician the secretaries ask, "What's the reason for this appointment?" "I just found out I'm pregnant." "When was the date of your last menstrual period?" When I tell them, they all sounded a bit shocked from my date and that I just found out. But I did find an appointment with an OBGYN just 11 days away.
Trace went to the appointment with me. They gave me a cup and sent me to the restroom. I was still a bit reluctant accepting that I was pregnant. When the doctor comes in, she tells me she's going to do an ultrasound. "So the test came back positive?" A bit of a confused look, "Yes, you are pregnant." The ultrasound put me at 9w3d, making my due date July 9. I had another ultrasound 2 weeks later. The baby doubled in size and was swinging arms and legs. So I've conceded, I'm pregnant.
Looking back, I'm really grateful for that bit of nausea or I may not have known until the baby bump or feeling a kick. I also might have tried to diet after seeing my body change shape.
We told our families for Christmas and are happy to share the news with you. Happy holidays and we hope you have a Happy New Year!
The next day Trace and I hiked Diamond head. It's a crater at the end of Waikiki, you start at the center of the crater and hike to the top for some excellent views. Later that evening we settled down in some chairs to watch the Honolulu Thanksgiving Parade. Weird, yet pleasant, to watch marching bands and listen to Christmas music in 80 degree weather. 
